Teeth!

So Natasha woke up yesterday morning screaming as usual, but what was unusual was the little white thing poking out of her gums.
And that hasn't been the only one since yesterday. She has 4 teeth coming through, it's a race to see if the bottom two come first or the top left one.
So far the top inscizer is winning!

I took Natasha to the park and swimming yesterday. She loves the pool, it's like a big bathtub to her. I got her a red bathing suit that is patterned like a strawberry. It's her favorite fruit, so why not make her look like one? It's very adorable on her as well. :)
I got her little floaties, and she was like a duck on water, she kicked her feet and I could even let go of her for a few seconds at a time and she'd swim towards me. I honestly think she has an aptitude for swimming :) But she would get it honestly, I love swimming too! We might go again today, it makes us both happy and Natasha gets a great distraction from her aching teeth.

I only got pictures of our time at the park, as there's no way I'm taking our camera to the pool, not only for the wet reason but it could easily get stolen! So here are the pictures I do have. (will update when I have more time today with the pictures.)

Up and Down and all around

Yesterday alex and I had an argument, we finnally resolved it and took a walk that evening, but I was really sick physically yesterday and I think that instigated it. I was pleading for him not to go with his father because I didnt think I could take care of natasha none the less myself, I spent the rest of the evening puking into the toilet. It was not fun! Then I had a massive migraine because of the fight, and the puking and the heat (It's REALLY warm here right now..)

So I went and passed out at 800 after putting hte baby down. Poor Alex went and missed seeing his father just to watch me be grumpy and mad at him and then pass out. I was having a bit of a bad day. However the beautiful pictures we took don't show that! So here they are from the last few days: http://s183.photobucket.com/albums/x265/mistresslane/

Here are a few of my favorites!

I'm also going to talk to my midwife as well, because I think that whole argument could have been avoided if i wasnt so emotionally crazy right now. I feel like i'm all over the place, really easily crying for no reason, and then happy later on, and i think it's just all the extra pregnancy hormones. I forgot how much it actually got to me.

So I woke up today feeling really great, and I've already done most of my cleaning by 10 am. My stomach is only mildly queasy (instead of really sick like yesterday) and I've made plans to go on a walk with natasha and try and find a new nearby play group for her. She loved going out to those before my surgery and I just need to get back into the swing of things. Keeping my self distracted doesn't stop me from having sick bad days, but it makes the ok days into good ones :)

Lazy Day Off

Alex has his day off work today, and after shopping yesterday I got a cheese selection pack and crackers and we have been "cheese tasting" today. It's a nice easy snack and its fun to do together, I'm learning new things about my husband and that's always enjoyable.

We have both been glued to the DS the last few days but i think it's finally tapered out to be balanced with real life things. Like Alex spending time with his father tonight, and our family going to the park this afternoon. I'm going to pack some lunches and a blanket and let the baby roam around since she's dying to walk everywhere.

I'll take some pictures too, it's such a lovely day outside!

Glen came over yesterday to take me shopping and I really enjoyed spending some time with her. I also got Alex some new t-shirts since he hates shopping for clothes himself. If i don't do it he'll wear anything, and some of his clothes are too small now, or filled with holes! I was getting embarrassed to go outside with him because we just were obviously not taking any grooming time for him. Though its funny how well he dresses for work, and how meticulous he is about his hair! LOL. Why can't he be the same way about his every day clothes? Oh well, I guess that's one of the reasons I like him. I like doing shopping for him anyway, I get him into polo's and clothes he wouldn't otherwise try. :)

I'm still working on getting him a pair of guys sandals. We'll see if he goes that far though.

Saturday Shopping Trip

I think I need to apply to UTube so I can post my own home videos on here. I gave my mom and grandma this address so they should be able to keep up with what all is going on. Today were going to the different markets. Probably just the one in Trowbridge. I'm going to get new batteries for my camera so i can take new pictures :P My camera died when I was at the safari park and I wanted to film feeding the Sea lions. By the way I had a blast there :)

Everyone look for updated photos soon (when I get back and before I entertain missionaries tonight for dinner).

Alex has been drooling over this Nintendo DS. But we're not buying it from there, we're going to get it in trowbridge I think at the used game shop because it's so nice. It'll be like having my game boy again! I'm so happy..yay happy tetris memories..and pac man...and oh I just remember I loved using that on long trips. I love showing natasha how to use all the latest gadgets too. But for us we have to wait a year or two before we get teh new stuff (The NDS has been out for almost a year now..) We're also packing lunches to eat in trowbridge at the lovely park they have there and let our daughter play around. Alex is mostly getting the NDS for traveling as his manager has been working REALLY hard to get him a promotion this month. So keep praying everyone because we could really use the extra money. (we already have a pension, life insurance, stocks, and other things for our savings right now..we're really responsible with our money..) And alex has been saving his allowance for 3 months to go buy this NDS so i'm really happy for him. I'm going to save my 100 pounds a month to get grandma a ticket for when the baby comes out. Because if I start now I'll be able to afford it around my birthday time, the last time I bought a ticket for someone coming from the UK it cost me about 500 us dollars but that was a one way and usually 2 way are cheaper. So that would be roughly 300 pounds. But I want to save about 500 pounds so that we can have a bit of play money, and in case the plane flight is more expensive. After New Years is not a usual time to fly so I don't expect it to cost too much :) I'm really excited though!

A nice surprise

I woke up at 5 am this morning to my husband doing the dishes and cleaning the bathroom! They are so sparkly now, and in my exuberant mood my husband showed me this UTube clip. It's suprisingly addictive. I can't understand a word of it but I rather like it. I think you should give it a try too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QP-X6_Xk5qI

A rambling Post

Today I really am going to go to the zoo/fun park today! It's a beautiful sunny day and I've been praying it would be good enough to go out. I am so excited, and I've been hurrying to get all my housework done before we go at 10:30, I still have the kitchen dishes to tackle, the bathroom to scrub down, and hoovering. I'm leaving doing the hampster cage until my husband is home on Saturday. Although the smell is getting pretty atrocious.

Yesterday we had my father-in-law come around and he invited us up to his place for the weekend which I hope to do soon because it would be a weekend in Bristol! We had a lovely dinner with my father-in-law and he simply dotes on Natasha.

I am so happy today and I feel very accomplished with myself. I think I'll put Natasha down early for her nap so she gets up when we get ready to go (she can always go back to sleep in the car if need be) and I can get the housework done. I can't pull out the chemicals and do the bathroom until she is asleep anyway. She tries to drink the bottles if I don't watch her constantly. lol. She will put anything to her mouth acting like it's a sippy cup if it's round and in her reach.

On a side note for those interested in my artwork, you can visit here.
I've been exploring with my blog a bit more and understanding how to make links ect. Now all I need to do is stop being so addicted to writing here lol.

Here is another link to my Photos of myself and my family.

Picking up the train of thought

When my mother left my dad she moved back to Ohio but she didn't immediately move in with my grandmother. We lived in many different apartments, and I have a clear memory of one of them.

I remember walking along with my mother and brother on a very sunny day. I must have been about 4 or 5 years old. I've only just recently remembered this and it's become very precious to me. We didn't get to spend a lot of time with my mother as a child since she was a single mother and was either working or going to school. With two young children that can be a very daunting task. At the time I was saring at my feet, as lots of little kids do, and I remember trying not to step on the cracks of the sidwalk we were walking on. In Ohio in the summer it is very beautiful with a lot of big maple trees and a lot of greenery. I remember watching the sunlight make patches on the ground. I don't remember much else after that until a bit later. Our family has just arrived at the apartment complex we lived at. I suppose it wasn't very big, but it seemed big to me. We lived at the very top and I remember how hard it was for my mother to walk up the stairs. I remember this mostly because that day, she fell down teh stairs two or three flights, I don't remmeber much else except that all of our bags we were carrying were on the ground with my mother at the bottom. After that I can't remember anything else, but I assume she was ok, I think she told me later she had a broken foot and wore a cast for a long time, but that for the most part she was ok.

The next memory I have is with one of the women who took care of us during the day. We were now older, around 6 or 7. We didn't live in the apartment anymore, but in a different city in living in half a house. We called it the Split House. This lady was around the age I am now. She was young and drove a bright yellow sports car. Those really long angular ones you always saw in the late 80's early 90's. She had a really nice smile and she always took us special places. She also gave me my first sticker book. I still have it. It was something she had collected as a young girl and I remember thumbing through all the stickers in there. Including ones with Micheal Jackson, and other pop singers from the 80's I didn't know about. I remember it had those wiggly eye stickers, and sniff and scratch stickers and I loved that sticker book. She also took us to her families place one time, and the same day we had icecream at a drive up dairy queen. We ate it on the way to see her family. I remember being scared when we got to the place because it had this old trailer in the front yard that was falling apart and had half of a matteress sitting out the front door. I remember going into the house and seeing an old lady. I guess we were there for a birthday because I remember a cake, and everything smelling of must and smoke. I also remmeber the whole place being rather dark and dingy inside. I didn't stay inside long and curiosity got the better of me and I went outside to investigate the old trailer. I remember it was a rusty blue color and my brother went with me. He found somehting to play in there by himself, and that was the time with I met that boy who tried to play "house" with me. All I remember after that is the look on the boys face when I said no and left.

That was around the same time my brother hurt himself badly on his left wrist. We lived in the split house I told you about, and we were often left to our own devices during the day, wandering about town just the two of us, things like that. My brother and I did everything together. The people who lived in the other side of the house were really nasty people, and their two kids were really mean to us. They were the same age but I guess we must have lived in a dodgy side of town because it seemed we ran into a lot of kids like that. They decided one time while we were out of the house and our mother wasnt around, to lock us out of our house. They were taunting us from the inside and my brother got so mad he punched his hand through the window to get in the back door. It worked only he had to have stitches after that. The next two memories I remember is in the same house. One was when I fell asleep in the bathtub, and floated there for maybe an hour and my mother broke down the door to get to me. lol. She never left me alone in the bathroom again after that. She thought i was dead, and I don't blame her worrying now that I have my own.

We always seemed to be getting into trouble, and My brother and I, so therefor those are the most relevent memories for me. Besides they were the most traumatizing too. It seemed that summer my brother couldn't stay out of trouble. Only a few short weeks after getting stitches for his left wrist he decided to try and open his plastic piggy bank with a serrated knife in the middle of the night. I didnt actually see it happen, but I have severe issues with knives since then, because I did see the wound, and the knife and all the blood. My mother rushed off with my brother to the hospital and I think I stayed with my grandma. My brother had over 100 stitches and he had to wear a cast on his right hand/wrist after that because he had severed nerves they had to recconnect. It was nasty business that. It only gets better too.

My mother decided that my brother was crying out for attention and we went on a family trip to http://www.hockinghillspark.com/Old%20Man's%20Cave.htm Old Man's Cave. Even though it was hard for my mom to walk around she took our family and my cousins there and we all had so much fun. My brother however decided to swim, even with a cast on, and fell in a hole in the water and I remember only seeing his arm stick out and my mother screaming at me to go out there and get him. Except by the time I got to him he was ok. lol. He has only slipped down. We were at this really pretty waterfall too. I really liked being there.

Now that I've got started I can't stop, I just keep remembering more. Funny how that works if you sit down and think about it.

My mother has always been a christian if not LDS. She took us to this barbeque at a nearby church building. It was a really small one. Presbyterian or something like that, and it had a lot of things for kids to play with, including a chained up dog that had been there for ages. It was a really bright sunny day that same summer, and my brother came along as usual, with one hand stitched and the other wearing a cast. We played with some of the other kids, my mother was wearing a beautiful white shirt that day and it looked great with her long dark hair. She didnt really wear her hair down often so it was nice to see. She had lovely thick dark hair and olive skin at this point in time. She also has green eyes. I was impressed, now that I think about it, at how brave she was to go out there despite how mean people can be about overweight people. And that she went out there alone too. Anyways back to the story. My brother and I were eating hotdogs at this barbeque, and I was coming over with another for my brother when I stopped and watched these older kids taunting the poor dog. My brother was off to the side, not really paying attention, and the whole world slowed down as I watched the dog get angrier and angrier. It kept barking at the older kids who were keeping a hotdog just out of it;s reach, and then it noticed my brother. This wasn't a small dog either, it was mix breed, and came up to my brothers chest at the time.

I watched horrified as the dog lunged at my brother when he had just put the hotdog in his mouth, taking the hotdog and my brothers face with it. For one second I was worried it had taken his eyeball with it. Then after that all I remmeber is seeing that beautiful white shirt of my mothers stained in bright red blood, and an abulance taking my mother and brother away.

After that our whole family moved in with my grandma. I think that was a wise choice. My brother was fine, and after about 5 hours of getting stitched up, for the third time this summer, he came home to our new house and did indeed have both of his eyeballs. Those are my first concrete memories as a child. Ironically even though I have an immense fear of knives now, I really dont have the same fear with dogs. My brother has a fear of both though, and I don't blame him!

Peaceful house and family

After my depressing post I felt the need to post again and havnt done so until now. This morning was just perfect, even with crappy weather outside. Alex and I woke up together at 5 am. I wrote my blog until 6 and then came back to bed and cuddled my husband. It was lovely to spend some quiet time together alone before our daughter woke up. Al got up shortly after 7 and got ready for work as I got up took the baby out of bed and fed her breakfast. Al did his normal computer time until about 8 00, and I made some lunch for him and breakfast for myself. Natasha went donw for her nap early (8 45) and stayed asleep until noon! Apparently she needed it. I went back to sleep to catch up on my missed 2 hours earlier. And because of her long nap I was able to have one hour unninterrupted to myself including the naps. It made me so happy!
I was supposed to go to a fun park today but the weather didn't cooperate so i'm going to go on thursday and invite my husband. It will work out better that way :) He'll be glad he's able to come. So I think everything worked out for a reason! And boy am I glad I got my nap. Being pregnant is hard work sometimes. Oh, I forgot to mention I cleaned up the house too..but hey I'm constantly doing that in between everything else I do. The only thing I havnt done is fold the laundry and put away the clean dishes. I'm feeling a wonderful sense of accomplishment today.
edit: I forgot to mention the most important part! MY husband decided today would be the day we all start family prayers together in the morning anf I feel so peaceful now because of it! I think even with our weird church attendance the fact he wanted to do this made me so happy.

About myself: 53 random facts

1. I don't have naturally red hair.
2. Everyone who meets me thinks I do, but it's just becuase the value is similar to my own only a different color.
3. I use words like value, hue, and shades as three very different meanings.
4. I'm a visual artist that actually uses the differences.
5. I'm Five feet 4 and a half inches.
6. In the uk I'm a size 14 and the US a size 12. I still havn't figure out the ratio difference because a size 0 in US is size 4 here..wouldnt that make me a 18 here?
7. I'm also a size five shoe in the UK. You work out the US version :)
8. I've been drawing since I could hold up a pencil, and for some reason I don't draw as often anymore.
9. I haven't seen my real father since I was 11 years old. I am now 21.
10. I am LDS, but semi-active at the moment.
11. I love peanut butter, but I miss the american kind.
12. I also love sausage, but I hate the english sausages.
13. I first introduced my husband to grits, and biscuits and gravy. No other english person will eat it now :( I think there's a taboo on scones being used with sausage and gravy lol.
14. I am obsessive about one thing about my appearance and that is my nails. I keep them long all the time and nicely filed. I have had many people ask if they are fake: and NO they are not.
15. I don't wear makeup to go outside, I only wear it on special occasions, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries ect.
16. I've been married for 2 years, 3 months and 7 days. I'm not converting the hours because of the time difference.
17. I'm a virgo and I love anything about astrology. There was even one time I got my horoscope done by an astrologist, and they didn't have anything to say bad about my future, instead saying that I was one of the few people they'd ever met with a big bright future. I attribute this to my religion and now religiously read my blessing instead. lol.
18. I am 2 months pregnant and I have a one yr 1 month old daughter.
19. My favorite LDS song is: Strength Beyond My Own- Tammy Simister Robinson
20. This is also followed by my favorite LDS CD: Doctrine and Covenants and Church History Video Sound Track.
21. I've never actually seen the movie. I just love the CD.
22. I went to college for one semester and got rather poor marks, and couldn;t stand being there. I hated the teachers, the teaching methods, and the fact it felt like a highschool rather than a college. It only had about 500 people total.
23. It was a snobby private art school. It doesn't help that I kept getting teamed up with a mormon turned anti-mormon and would take every oppertunity to slander me and everything I believed in.
24. I also still partially lived with my mother as she commuted to seattle from utah to work for 2 weeks then off 2 weeks.
25. *shudder* we even slept in the same bed.
26. Logically I married alex becuase I'm deeply in love with him, unlogically I needed to get as far away from my mother as possible. This worked. (i was a bit niaeve at the time and now do not actually need to be that far away from her..)
27.Our bishop ironically supported us, and gave us the sweetest blessing I've ever heard.
28. I sleep on my left side, on the left side of the bed, and can't stand sleeping facing my husband because i have a pet peve of having people breathing in my face. I don't know where that weird obsession came from- probably my first pregnancy.
29. I used to have sleep apnea and then I grew out of it.
30. I once had a sleeping disorder where I wasn't getting REM sleep. (this is the most important cycle of sleep) and was having reoccuring dreams of being killed, killing other people, and rape. This lasted for almost a year before I almost with crazy with depression from lack of sleep.
31. I got a blessing for it october of 2005 and I have never had a problem since. Apparently it had nothing to do with me and was completely unrelated to anything at all. That is the weirdest personal experience I've ever had.
32. I still think about the day my daughter was born, and how small and precious she was.
33. If I hadn't had someone break my water on the Tuesday she was born she would have been a c-section baby because she had such a round large head. She still does.
34. I have four female friends in England. My mother in law, Carol, Susanne, and Kate.
35. I am younger than all over them by at least 5 years.
36. I like to take a nap in the morning since I found out I was pregnant because I tend to get sick then, and if I sleep through it i'm more productive the rest of the day.
37. I have the ears of an elephant. I can hear a baby crying all the way down the street in someones house with the windows closed.
38. I'm not a busy-body though, I'm just senstive to noise. I cant listen to headphones becuase they give me a headache.
39. I've only ever been to one concert because afterwards I had ringing ears for over 2 weeks.
40. I hate loud noises but I love noisy cities- example Sanfrancisico.
41. That was the only time I ever wore headphones consitently, I wore them to sleep each night.
42. I prefer the countryside and quiet however.
43. My dream home will be a cottage in the english countryside with one or 2 horses.
44. If its too expensive to live in england we'll move to another country. We've already talked of this possibility.
45. I don't want to move back to america and given a choice I wouldn't.
46. I don't miss most things about america, but I sometimes miss seeing my family.
47. I am more patriotic to england than I ever was to America.
48. Most english thing I am canadian, which is half true. I am canadian, American, and English by law now. I hold passports for all three countries.
49. If I did move back to the North American continent it would be to Canada I think. Possibly Vancouver. They have wonderful art schools there.
50. I would prefer to raise my kids in England, and when they are older give them the option of moving to a different country, or at least visiting other countries.
51. All my kids are going to be dual american and UK citizens. If they wants canadian citizenship they'll have to claim through their grandparents. Which might not even matter if they are UK since Canada is still technically under the queen anyway.
52. I really want all my kids to have cute british accents. Is that vain?
53. I've mover over 20 times in my young life and I can't remmeber the actual total. I just know it's more than 20.

New Page Content

I have just added a picture of my daughter Nat, in my heading, it's an oilpainting I did and modified in photoshop. I still might fiddle with it but so far I like it.

I'm also working on trying to make some lists and things. I find all of this very interesting and challenging.

Sunday Bust or Best?

Yesterday was a weird day. The evening before church I prayed to truely understand how my husband felt when attending church so I could better relate to his situation. It's been a long time since I've sincerely prayed and I knew I would recieve an answer, just not in the form that I was given.

I woke up sunday morning, and after posting in my journal rallied our whole family together and left the door for church. When we got there my husband went to nursery to take our daughter since he didn't want to attend priesthood and I went to primary sunday school, since I teach there.

While I was there I sang along with the songs and sat on my own as I normally do. I only have two three-year-old boys in my class and they are constantly glued to this young girl who sub-teaches for them. Since i'm not a regular attendant and she has grown up in that ward they love her, and normally I feel a bit like a third wheel. I don't feel very comfortable with kids, and espcially not large groups of them. My own kids excluded.

So I was sitting here singing absentmindley and thinking about my husband. Worrying about him and stewing when I seemed to be overcome with emotion. Something about the fact no other adult had said hi to me since I entered the building, and the horrid fights my husband and I had been having, and the fact even my 3-year-old students didnt like me just seemed to overwhelm me. I promptly got up, where no even noticed anyway, and went off to a room that was empty and balled my eyes out. When I was finnally able to control my emotions I sat there for a moment wondering why I felt this way. I had my scriptures in my hand and felt peaceful afterwards. I realized I had had a rare insight on how my husband felt each and every time he comes to church, and felt a strong urge to go talk to him.

To make a long story short, we ended up leaving early, much to the relief of my husband (and myself at that point), and after coming home we talked at length about my experience, and he told me that it was the most accurate discription of how he felt that he'd ever heard. And he seemed really surprised I understood. I've never before felt inadequate at church. The last time I did was when I was a new convert (as my husband is now) and I didnt understand why everyone did everything, and I always seemed to go to church alone. But my feelings then could not compare to the empathy I had yesterday. In the end it seemed my prayers were answered, and the Bishop is going to come by and talk to us at length about how things are. I only hope my husband can open up about his fears and insecurities about going to church. He really just needs a friend. I can't be his only church friend. I'm not sure what else to do at this point but I keep going back to the scriptures. I know that seems like a weird answer I got but I am 100% sure it wasnt something I'd normally be overwhelmed with, even in my new pregnancy hormonal state.

The other reason I know it wasn't something like reoccuring depression in myself is because as soon as I talked it over with alex, at church, I felt the spirit of the Lord so strongly. And was confirmed that this was something to bring us closer together as a couple and to God. I slept better last night than I have in weeks and I think my husband is in a better mood too.

Sunday Schedules

The last 2 months have been a bit hard for my husband and going to church. But we are going to church today, and after much prayer on my part I think Al is willing to give it his all. I hope he won't be disappointed. I'm mostly hoping he feel uplifted by the experience and feels the Holy Spirit while there. I want him to focus less on the other people and more on himself. We had a good chat about it last night, along with his insecurities and not understanding why he doesn't want to go. We'll see what happens. But I'm still going to pray and fast for him. He's on an internal struggle and he needs my help.

I'm trying to think of other ways to support him too. But I don't know if pushing him out the door to come to church is counter productive or not. Even though last night he agreed to go, he's now become wishey washy on the subject and won't get out of bed. I love my husband and I know he has faith in God but I think he just lacks necessary faith in himself. I wonder how else I can cheerlead him in his duties and blessings as a priesthood holder. He just doesn't know all the wonderful blessings our family receives, and peace in our home when we attend church together. And being able to partake of the sacrament is the reason I go because it's so personal and spiritual and it gives me that lift for the week and helps me overcome my weaknesses. I think I just have to be strong now. Al was strong when I was weak and now it's my turn to give back in love and kindness.

You see it's only been fairly recently that Al has found Christ in his life and after that burning fire that sustained him he's now required to rely on his faith, and if I don't read scriptures and pray with him I don't know if it ever gets done. I think I need to back off on trying to control his spiritual behavior and just be there for him when he needs me. It's not very christ-like to make him go to church or be any certain way- i was just doing it out of worry for him and his spiritual health. I don't know if he has thought about the continued spiritual health of himself or not. Maybe I could suggest that? Maybe I'm just thinking about this too much and God will work through me when he needs to hear what he needs to hear. I hope so because I'm only human and I don't always know what to say to help my husband. :(

My World of Warcraft Addiction

Before kids, and but while I've been married, I had a WoW addiction. I admit it. I love WoW. Love it so much I had to get rid of it for the sake of my sanity. I absolutly refuse to play Any MMO's now. But that is by the by. I do however have a link to a very funny UTube clip about WoW. And anyone who has played WoW would appreciate it. It gave my husband and I a really good laugh. And really needed the smiles today.
Enjoy.
http://kotaku.com/gaming/notag/michael-jackson-does-world-of-warcraft-207366.php

Strengthening my friendships

Even though I know no one reads these posts, I have tried to find other blogs to link to mine to gain inspiration from. I am not very good at reaching out to other people. I really want to be close to other people though and closeting myself away every day is not the answer. It is never to late to start being a friend, and even though distance has come between some of mine I will continue to try.

I have one lady who is close to my age, in her mid 20's with one 3 year old boy and one 7 month old daughter. She is a lovely lady. I see her every time I go to church or a church activity. Every time we have seen each other we promise to talk or call or get together and it's never happened. So I'm going to reach out to her today and hopefully she will want to do something with me. I don't think it was just politeness that keeps her talking to me each sunday, but I do think we just havnt crossed that akward bridge of aquaintance to friendship. Which sometimes can seem more big than it actually is.

Another relationship I'm working on is the lady who will be called Carol in here. She is a lovely woman in her late 30's early 40's. She has 3 girls ages 14 to 10. Although her 14 year old looks like she is 18, its quite scary lol. Anyways, we are going to a nearby animal fun park. I think they even have a petting zoo which will be lovely for my little girl, who is just finding her feet. I hope the sunshine holds out as well.

The two other relationships that give me most stress is my Mum and Mum-in-law. My mum lives in America and to be honest the distance between us makes our relationship better I think. We have a date for sunday afternoon to webcam and voicechat. So she can see her grand daughter for the first time in over a year. It's the best I can do with out seeing her in person, which isn't possible at this time. The other Mum in my life lives across the town from us, we stayed with her until 2 months ago when we finnally started renting a place of our own. We're becoming closer now that we don't live together and we have many common interests, including art. She is a wonderful artist.

The last relationships I strive the hardest on are of course my wonderful husband Al, and my daughter Nat. It's easy with Nat right now, I know what cries mean what, and what she wants from me most days. My husband is always more complicated but I do my best to honor love and support him behind the scenes. I take great pride in making the house a spiritual refuge for him. I also love talking ot him about everything and learning new things with him.

Just the other day I bought him a DIY book so that we can learn how to do up a few things around the house together. He usually ends up doing most the manual labor, he loves going over his ideas with me and talking endlessly about what he wants to do and buy and make. It makes me so happy to see him happy, and normally I'm not even a DIY person. Although the technical part of it is really interesting to me. This is just one side of our relationship i'm trying to make more harmonious. I'm trying to get him more involved with Nat and myself, so we all play together more and laugh together more. I also love going on day trips with him. The last few days have been a wonderful experience with my husband as we talk about our unborn child and our plans for the future. He has opened up a lot about whats going on at work and has been very honest with me. I don't have all the answers to make relationships work, I only know what works with myself and my husband. I constantly pray for guidance and reevaluate how I treat my husband and when I try more I see the effort he puts forth in response. He is very intuitive to what I need if I only give him the space to try.

So my plans for today are to follow my list a bit, and get the house hoovered today as it hasn't been done in almost 3 days, which is horrid when you have a one year old dragging who knows what everywhere. :) Hopefully Al and I will go on a day trip to a bigger city than our little town. Thanks for reading.

My First Blog

Well this is interesting.

I have had a Live Journal, a Dead Journal, and even an online diary, but I would never have called them a Blog. This therefor, is my first blog journal. Or maybe just Blog?

In any case an introduction is needed. I am a 21 year old American who lives in England. I have a loving, caring husband, who goes by the name of Al on here and a beautiful little girl who goes by the name of Nat on here. My husband is a little younger than me, he just turned 20 this year, and I will be 22 in septemeber. Our daughter is 1 year 1 month old and so adorably cute. She has curly blonde hair and strikingly blue eyes.

At the moment however she is really sick so she's a little less adorable and cute as I've had to listen to her screams since early this morning. No matter what I did she wouldn't stop crying. That was until Daddy came home. Then the world turned 180*. Ah well, she plays favorites, what can I say? It's not as if I negelect her. Indeed most of my day is spent in constructive play. We clean together, and sing together, and I read to her as often as I can. She loves to sit on my lap while I read to her and point at the pictures saying: "Da".

What did I tell you? Daddy's girl.

Anyways, she will be really loving me in 8 months when our second child comes along. Even if she is a bit unsuspecting, my husband isn't and we both are extremely excited for another addition to the family. Having a little child is exhausting but the most rewarding thing at the same time, and I want many many more children. I know that seems like a crazy idea in this day and age, especially in the UK, but it's true! I really do want a whole house full of children! The great thing is my husband shares my enthusiasm for this, even if he doesn't always know the hard work that goes into a day with Nat. Which is fine because he does occasionally get reminders when I have to leave town (to visit family) or there was recently a time I was in the hospital for a week. That left my husband to care for our daughter all by himself. It was remarkable how caring and considerate he was to me after wards. Unfortunatly I think he's forgotten.

No to be honest I have not much to whinge about concerning my husband as he is a kind and thoughtful man. Most days he is hard at work for our family, and when he comes home he gives his all to Nat and me. Then he passes out and thats ok since right now he's sick too. :( Which makes me sad. Dealing with a sick family isn't fun! Especially when I wake up to morning sickness...(and go to bed throwing up as well...) But that is all by the by. This is my first post and this me. I love my family. I love God. And I am happy for my role as mother and wife. I look forward to many more blogs. And maybe if I'm lucky, a few friends too.