Reminiscing

Today I feel a bit lonely. I'm not sure if having never had long time friends, or not having many now has upset me, but it always seems like making friends, and keeping them has never been a strong suit for me.

Which is funny really because I just had a lovely time with Carol and Liz this last week going out with our kids, and playing at the woodland park. I even really enjoyed myself at a dinner going away party for one of my friends in church. I was just getting to know her and now she is leaving in 2 weeks.

I have isolated myself so much being a mother, and with out any transportation, that going to see people is very hard. I think I do something maybe once a month with my 'friends' Carol and Liz, if I'm lucky, and I don't ever get time to sit down and talk to them.

It's lovely having children, and having my husband as friends, but I miss female companionship. Specifically my mother and grandma. They have always been my friends even when I didnt have anyone else, and latly I'm so far away from them I feel all alone.

Well i'm teaching natasha sign language now so at least I can communicate with her better. She now knows almost 10 words in sign language and 4 verbally. It's wonderful to see her grow and develop.

I also did really well at my interview so i'm hoping I make a few friends working. Art work is such a solitary thing it will be nice to have and do both jobs. I guess part of my problem is being so busy that I just dont have the time to sit down and talk to friends for ever. Even if I had someone to talk to for ages besides my mother and grandma.